The Ultimate Reality

Open-Minded Theory

2007-10-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

Lately I’ve been considering the ways I judge people. I’ve always been more of an observer, so I tend to judge people before I get to know them. Most of us do, which is kind of pathetic if you think about it. I’ve been working on it, and I’ve become a lot more open-minded than I used to be.

Everyone has their own beliefs, and I try my best to respect them because it’s the mature thing to do and I would expect the same in return. I’ve met many intolerant people in the past year, which is probably because we’re at that age where we’re forming different political opinions, having separate religious beliefs and basically just rebelling against anything we were brought up with for the sole sake of being an individual.

Go for it. Be as different as you can possibly be. Be a nonconformist and see what happens.I’m not trying to say that all the kids that go to this school are stuck up and prejudiced. I just think some of us need to be a little more open-minded. You can listen to someone express their opinions about gay marriage or abortion, but you don’t have to explode in rage why THEY are wrong and YOU are right. That won’t convince them to change their stand, and they will just think you’re rude. Instead, say, “Well I don’t really agree with that, but I understand what you mean.” It’s a lot more refreshing to hear someone say, “Yeah, I see your point but I think…” rather than, “Oh my God. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. What are you, a hippie?”

You will definitely make more friends by respecting others’ ideas rather than preaching to everyone why George Bush is a lame excuse for a president. Can’t we all just think for ourselves? I swear, some kids these days act like they’re trying to start a cult in the cafeteria.

Of course, there is a line to how open-minded one should be. Yes, there’s always a line, isn’t there? There’s a difference between being open to others’ opinions and not forming your own viewpoint. If you accept and believe all the garbage you hear and see, you’ll never get anywhere in life.

If one of your friends believes in extraterrestrial life and another one thinks that’s crazy, you can’t go back and forth and agree with them both separately when you talk to them. That’s just being fake, and face it - pretty soon they’ll both find out and some stupid drama will start and it will be one of those things you’ll look back at when you’re 30 and ask yourself, “We were fighting about aliens? Wow. We were cool.” Although, the world wouldn’t be what it is today without some debate.

It’s just all about respect. I know a girl from my old school that literally stopped talking to another girl in her class because her mom had a WWJD bumper sticker. Grow up. That’s ridiculous, and basically just pathetic.
Obviously, you should never be so extremely open-minded in the sense that if you see a guy robbing a bank, you think, “Oh, but he could still be a nice man; let’s go in and say hi.” Trust me, that would not turn out well. That’s insanity. I think we’re all smarter than that.

You can think what you want, be your own person and have your own morals. That’s great, and I will respect you for it. Set your own standards, but please don’t try to set mine. Let’s all try to do a little more listening and a little less advocating.

Sitcom Disaster

2006-04-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

“Stacked,” “What I like about you,” “Twins,” “Related.” Does anyone else see a pattern here? It seems like these days you can’t even turn the television on without seeing a preview for a new sitcom, but in reality they are not new at all, they are the same as all of the other sitcoms on the air. What happened to the good old day’s way back when TV shows had a point, where each one was different from the other?

In the world of television today however, one would think that all of these sitcoms were written and directed by the same person. They all follow the same storyline and have that same cheesy kind of humor that is so exhausted. I miss “Happy Days” and “I Love Lucy.” Back when a new TV show was not something that occurred twice a week. Back when it took a lot of thought and hard work for a creator’s idea to get accepted into the world of television, whereas now any show starring a decent looking male or female gets put on the air.

Rarely there are a few good sitcoms in the batch of what seems like a trillion. Look at “Friends” or “Everybody Loves Raymond.” These sitcoms reached the top of the ratings chart. So what made them so different than all of the other sitcoms? Was it good acting or good writing? It was both, they were just good overall. They had fresh comedy and a unique storyline.

“Friends” is a universal show used as the basis of comparison when it comes to sitcoms. Every new TV show gets compared to it. This makes all of the new sitcoms considered “wannabe Friends.” The producers of these latest sitcoms try to trick viewers into watching their show by placing them on the air after a well known and respected show. That way, when the viewer finishes watching this accomplished show they will see a glimpse of the new sitcom and continue watching it.

For example, “Stacked,” starring Pamela Anderson came on directly after “American Idol.” “Related” is another representation, it comes on after “One Tree Hill.” Everyone says history repeats itself, so maybe one day television will go back to the way it was when people could differentiate between shows.

It’s understandable that a network will accept a bad show every once in a while, but to accept any new idea that is suggested is like gambling. Networks should start searching for quality not quantity.

The List

2005-12-27T02:24:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered what to do with those depressingly empty hours of spring break that aren’t filled with family, friends and homework? Same here.

homework? Same here. After all the anticipation of waiting for a week of no school, break can get pretty boring after the first few days. So this year, I’m doing something different! The fun part of my break is staying up late watching TV, sleeping in late, emailing and calling friends, playing on the computer, playing with my little sisters at the park and, best of all, relaxing with no homework or chapter notes to do. The boring part sets in when I wake up with absolutely nothing to accomplish that day, which usually results in me wasting more hours being bored than actually doing something. Being the kind of person who has to plan out EVERYTHING (no kidding, I have my hourly schedules for junior and senior year written up!), I decided to do something different this year. To avoid all those wasted spring break hours, I should start thinking about what I want to get accomplished NOW. Right now.

So, when I’m working and suddenly think of something I want to do, like a certain movie I’d like to see or some activity that requires more time than I have available during the schoolday, I’ll write it down. Then, I should have a whole list of things I can accomplish in my sudden week-long rush of free time. “I should post that pep rally video I recorded last fall.” Write it down on the spring break list.“ I should practice my piano and bamboo flute (long story) a little more.” Write it down on the spring break list. “I should organize my closet by color, occasion and clothing style.” Write it down on the spring break list. “I should get around to doing some of my hobbies like crocheting, sewing, cross-stitching, reading, video-editing, writing HTML...” Write it down on the spring break list as separate entries.

“I should write some more about my awesome, drama-filled life in my fifty bajillion diaries.” Write it down on the spring break list in that diary that is completely blank except for the first and last pages. Maybe this year’s spring break will be more exciting than last year’s. The ideas are really starting to flow! With a backup list of things to do when I get bored, maybe spring break won’t be so blues-y after all. Hmm, learning to play the blues on the piano (or bamboo flute) might be another cool activity.

The Meaning of Christmas

2005-12-08T01:40:00.000-08:00

The weather is bittersweet cold outside. Strands of lights are strung around the edges of houses that light up the night. Christmas trees are being put up in front windows, and family stockings are being hung above the fireplace. It is that time of year; it is Christmas. It seems like the only thing that is missing is snow, but if you take a deeper look into this holiday, all these things are just decorations. The real meaning of Christmas is a lot deeper than decorations.

When I sit down and think about this holiday known as “Christmas,” I begin to think about what it means to other people. I believe that it is about remembering what you’ve lost and cherishing what you have.
I have a very close friend whose life was changed not even a year ago. My friend’s father was in a car accident. On May 12, 2005, she had come home from a long day at school, still going through the process of meeting new friends since she and her family had just moved to New Orleans four months prior. She remembered that her dad and older brother were going to Mexico for the week, so she gave her father a giant hug and kiss before he had to leave. Her dad was out of town a lot for business, so it didn’t seem like such a big deal. She had no idea that hours after she gave him that last hug, her life would change forever.
When her brother and father were on their way to Houston, a truck hit their car. Her father wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was thrown against the steering wheel and then into the backseat. The first night he was in the hospital he suffered major brain damage, his left eye was severely punctured and had only a 5 percent chance of living. That night, the doctors decided to perform a surgical procedure that consisted of removing the left side of his skull because his brain was so swollen. Because of that surgery, his life was saved. He was in the Intensive Care Unit for Head Trauma for two months, and in August, things began to change when he was moved to a rehabilitation center.

Her father is truly a living miracle. Once he arrived in rehab, he took each obstacle with a positive attitude and put so much effort into regaining his strength to be able to walk again. His recovery made such an amazing impact not only on my friend’s life, but on all of those surrounding them. It’s been more than six months since the accident, and my friend has realized that what is most important is having unconditional love for each other and appreciating life to its fullest.

There is a different feeling when you have that person that you almost lost and you can hold their hand, look at their face, lay next to them and talk about anything. She always talks about her father as if he is her world. Father and daughters seemed to always have the special bond.

Christmas is a time of year where families come together and soak up the holiday season together. Whether this year is a different Christmas for you because of certain circumstances or just like every year, keep in mind what it’s really all about- remembering and loving the ones you have.

Valentine’s Meaning

2005-08-10T03:09:00.000-07:00

Valentine’s Day: cards, candy hearts, chocolate. The angry girlfriends whose boyfriends completely forgot about it; the card companies raking in money. It’s the same each year.

I’ve never been one of those people to go absolutely psycho and buy millions of cards or cry myself to sleep at night because I don’t have a Valentine. I’ve always generally liked Valentine’s Day. It’s kind of overrated and corny with the parading giant stuffed animals and flowers around, but somehow it works. Hallmark and other greeting card companies, who are credited with the “creation” of Valentine’s Day, make around $900 million every year from card sales alone.

Even with all the stress of Valentine gift buying, there are plenty of little things to enjoy, like Necco Sweethearts. While sometimes they don’t taste that great, who doesn’t enjoy those silly little messages, like “Be Mine” and “Kiss me” or the ever so random “E-mail me?” Who knew they’d create a candy heart to apply to our hi-tech world?

For all of the money spent on Valentine’s Day, we could at least get a day off of school. Aisles of grocery stores and entire Hallmarks are crammed with Valentine’s Day junk straight after Christmas. It’s pretty frightening, especially to those who cringe at the sight of anything covered in pink and red hearts.

Of course Valentine’s Day isn’t truly based on material items. It’s supposed to be about love. It’s said that Saint Valentine was martyred for not giving up Christianity, and while he was in prison fell in love with the jailor’s daughter and wrote her a letter goodbye. He signed that letter “From Your Valentine.” Yet, even with all of the “I love you” gibberish being thrown around, it’s not hard to admit that Valentine’s Day is based off of infatuation rather than love.

It’s sad thinking about how much of a big deal some people make about having a Valentine. Sure it’s nice to have one, no one minds that special box of chocolates or that beautiful diamond bracelet. But if someone needs an excuse to give you something like that, it can’t be all that spectacular.

Sibling Sayonara

2005-05-09T00:23:00.000-07:00

Siblings can be very annoying and irritating at times, but they can also sometimes feel like they are your only best friend, hero or guidance in life. Growing up with an older brother or sister is priceless, because even though you get into those nasty arguments and fights you know that in the end they still love you and you love them.

I have an older brother that goes to College and now that the year is slowing down and graduation seems to be approaching quickly, I have realized I am going to have to say goodbye to him. I have finally come to understand that my life and my brother’s life is going to change and we may either grow apart or become closer; I hope to grow closer to my brother and not argue as much. I have thought about this situation countless times: what am I going to do without my brother? He and I have gone through thick times and thin times together. I learn so many different things from him every day like how to be a better person, how to change my tires on my car, how to make important decisions in life and many other key things about life.

Even though I am graduating and not going too far away, it will still be extremely sad for me, because I know we will both be doing our own things and dealing with classes and jobs. It’s like a piece of my childhood is going to be gone forever; I can remember how we use to always play with our Power Rangers, cops and robbers and who could jump off the top of the bunk bed the quickest. I can remember how he guided me to climb my first apple tree at my grandma’s house, but now it all seems to be vanishing. Despite this, I now try to remember all those good times I have spent with my brother and cherish them as much as I can. If you are like me and are graduating this year and have an older sibling or younger sibling, you know how it’s going to feel so be sure to tell them that you love them.

Although you or they will be going off to college either in town or away and doing whatever it is that you or they love, you will always have your sibling no matter what happens in life.

Dye-Hard Fan

2005-02-07T20:46:00.000-08:00

I started out undefined. No title could match this platinum-maned girl. My entire junior year I was a “deep burghundy brown,” until April when I became a “deep copper blonde,” and from then on..it was all downhill..

Color layered upon color, my hair has become more like a Jackson Pollock painting than a normal color brown or blonde. I’ve settled with “ruby fusion,” but chances are I’ll be a “caramel kiss” by Christmas time.

Some people get frustrated with their life and indulge in things like drinking or drugs, but I’ve found my own addiction. If something ends or something new begins, a new color of hair is always the perfect solution to seal the deal. However, I never realized I had what some would call a “problem” until about a week ago.

I handed my ID to the lady at the movie theatre so I could see “Saw 2” again. Usually the process takes about five seconds, but this time, oh, it took much longer. I realized she looked at my ID and looked at me. More than just once. And then it hit me, I looked so different from my driver’s license picture that this lady didn’t believe that I was who I said I was.

I know, I know, everyone looks different in their license picture, but you see, I took that picture about a month ago. But I guess the strawberry blonde hair with pink tips just threw the poor lady off.

People always ask why I dye my hair so much, and then they usually tell me my hair is going to fall out, to which I always make them undergo what I like to call the “touch test.” For being dyed, and I think the count is probably over 23 times, my hair is insanely soft due to my obsessive conditioning habits.

I used to be happy with just staying that same red color, but my inspiration came in the form of a movie charcter by the name of Clementine Karchinski. of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” But right now, I love the spontaneous element of knowing I can basically paint my mane whichever color I feel best fits my mood. And for that, I am in fact a dye-hard fan of hair dying.

Star of Hope

2004-12-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

I will always remember that exciting but nervous car ride downtown. I remember how I woke up that morning feeling tired and thinking that I really didn’t want to do this confirmation service project.

As the streets changed from smooth and clean, to bumpy with trash all over the place, I knew I was really in for something. When we drove under bridges of the downtown streets, I could see 20 to 30 men with only blankets, mattresses, shopping carts and the clothes on their backs. They were the poor.

After we parked our cars we walked over to a building. On the side of it there were massive blocked letters that spelled “HOPE - WOMEN AND CHILDREN FAMILY CENTER.”

When the 10 of us entered the building, we saw many different faces. Some young, some middle-aged, some elderly. Some looked so scared, some happy; some just didn’t know what to do. I started to feel sad and pain in my heart for all these people.

A lady came up to us and escorted our group to the kitchen. When we got there I saw the five happiest faces in the world. They were so grateful that we were there to help them serve lunch for the day. Immediately we all washed our hands and got put to work. I had to open five gigantic cans of peas and pour them into a pan. Then, I helped open peaches and set up chairs in preparation of lunch.

During the whole preparation I could remember myself thinking, ”Oh I’m hungry.” I was so mad at myself thinking this because I was suppose to be helping people and not thinking about me.

Everyone finished early, before lunch was going to be served, so we got to sit where the homeless were.
I was really nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I saw a boy sitting by himself and a middle-aged woman with a scared face. I decided to go over by them. When I walked over I asked the woman how her day was going, and she turned toward me with a huge smile and said,” “Great, how about you?” I replied and then turned toward the boy who had Spider-Man and Ninja Turtle action figures. I asked him how old he was and, told him that I liked his action figures. He said,

“Thank you, and I’m 12 years old.”

Everyone seemed so nice and appreciative. I don’t know how people can be so happy and appreciative when they have nothing and no home, I know if I was homeless and in that position where I had to go to a shelter and know that I wouldn’t be able to provide food for myself, I would be down in the dumps. I would also feel really bad for my mom or dad knowing that they tried so hard in their life and couldn’t support our family.

I wanted to talk to them more but I had to go and help serve lunch. We must have served 50 to 60 people, all of whom had very nice and smiling faces. After lunch was finished, everyone had to help clean the kitchen up. The trays used for lunch were cleaned. I mopped the floor and dishes were washed and put away.
The five ladies had already begun making dinner and a cake for dessert that night. We said our good-byes and I left with a warm feeling in my heart.

I feel ashamed of myself and where I live knowing that there are very kind people with nothing and no where to go. What is going to happen to the men under the bridges when it gets colder and rains? Will they have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas?

My heart breaks for the children and parents who have to worry about what each day is going to bring, where they will stay, and if they will have enough to eat. We have so much to be thankful for. Next time we think that we are bad off or get upset because we can’t get that new iPod, think about how the people at Star of Hope feel. I know that I saw the poorest of them all.

The Time of Our Lives

2004-04-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

Adults say these years are the hardest of our lives; they also say that they are the most fun of our lives. So which one is it? Are they enjoyable or difficult? Surely they can’t be both.

Most people think that being a teenager is simple. All a teen has to do is work hard in school and have fun. But in reality, it is much more complex than that. One is transitioning from a child into an adult between the ages of 12 and 18, which is a gigantic job for anyone, let alone someone who just completed childhood.

High school is a time of discoveries. It is a time to discover who you are, who you want to be and who you will become. In the world of teenagers there are no second chances; you are what you wear and actions do not speak louder than words. In this period one has to have both looks and personality to make it. Without the entire package you are simply overlooked and forgotten about.

The caste system is a term used by many Asian and European nations to categorize different people into the proper “caste” or “group” based on their economic, social or political status. I believe that there is indeed a caste system here at my school and although it is not vocalized or written down anywhere, it’s there.

Teens here have no respect for anyone. They are self-centered and sometimes just overall rude. Everyone lacks confidence in themselves, so why do some people choose to be rude and make others feel badly about all of their small imperfections? Now, for the record, I’m not saying that all of my school is like this; there are many people here who aren’t so shallow-minded and judgmental, and to those people I give my sincere gratitude. Almost all of the people we meet in high school will not remain in our lives past graduation, so why does what they think about us matter so much?

My dream would be to live in a place where everybody focused less on their social status and more on grades, future plans and just having fun. Until then I will keep on trying to do my part in making high school more enjoyable for all and hope that others will do the same.

Insecurity Dangers

2004-01-07T23:18:00.000-08:00

Among today’s teenagers, there is a pervasive lack of self-esteem. Not everyone, but many among us suffer from this serious insecurity. The cure begins with being aware of the fundamental problem and ends with compassion toward one another.

Low self-esteem in teenagers has numerous manifestations. Sadly, it often goes unrecognized until it ends up in the emergency room as some form of self-abuse. I see examples everyday: eating disorders and obesity, increase in gang violence, long-sleeved shirts covering evidence of self-inflicted cuts and burns, and degrading T-shirts, like those that read, “A-salt Me.”

Casual Sex - A manifestation of Insecurity

There is also an alarming increase of casual sex, with many unprepared for the emotional consequences. Unfortunately, the media also promotes such degenerative behaviors under the guise of freedom of expression. Music videos with women in demoralizing positions, dancing provocatively, and/or with little clothing, and song titles like My Dirty Ho (by Snoop Dogg) compromise human dignity.

Furthermore, disregard for others is also depicted as a prevalent theme in major movies like “Thirteen” and “Mean Girls,” and articles in national magazines like “How to Deal With a Bitch Anytime, Anywhere” (Cosmopolitan).

Part of the cause of this degenerative trend is that the pressures surrounding teenagers today can be suffocating. We are expected to be so much- athletic, thin, smart, popular, and beautiful with perfect teeth and skin, but our character is tested as well. Honesty is honored, but brutal honesty is not, and being politically correct has become essential.

Everything is a matter of degree. Performance, both athletic and academic, is increasingly competitive, almost obsessive, and the statistics for college admissions are more daunting than ever, to say the least. Technological advances, like the internet and text messaging, are designed to make teens’ lives more streamlined. However, by reducing direct human interaction, they make communication very impersonal.

From supervised child to independent adult, teenagers need to pursue multiple passions to balance themselves. Being on a team nurtures a sense of belonging and provides moral support. I do not attach my self-worth to being just a great tennis player. I would still find fulfillment in reading “The Joy Luck Club,” singing and making waffles. Volunteer work and other endeavors in which people can give generously of themselves help give youth confidence and a sense of purpose. Tutoring and babysitting help me learn to deal with frustration (mine and theirs!). Help starts with one person. As feelings of inadequacy generated by social pressures intensify, so must the efforts to build human ties. It can be as simple as being a good listener for someone who needs someone to talk to or donating a few hours on weekeds to volunteer service. In making yourself feel better, you will also be making a difference in the world.

Everyone needs a best friend- someone they can confide in, someone they can trust, someone who will be there when they are needed. Compassion is contagious. It is clear to me that one person can and does make a tremendous difference. Tip the first domino in knocking down this widespread problem by being a good friend, and help contribute to the renewal of the optimistic nature of teenagers.

Marriage For All

2003-12-07T06:37:00.000-08:00

There is nothing wrong with being gay. It may be gross according to our social customs, and it may violate your religion, but in New Guinea natives eat spiders for protein, and pretty much anyone that worships differently violates your religion.

First of all, denying gays the right to be married is discrimination. Moving into the twenty-first century, we should be learning to accept and embrace people for their differences. America has worked so hard to come to this age without the heavy discrimination embedded in government and society, so why should we go back in time to deny the rights of others?

Some people in of same-sex marriage say that same sex marriages will defame the sanctity of marriage. First of all, I would like to ask where is this sanctity of marriage? Half of all American families have suffered from divorce. If there is a 50% rate of divorce in America, what are people marrying for? Obviously it’s money, sex and keeping up with the Jones’. It seems to me that gays are marrying for more of the right reasons.

Another argument that the same people use is that heterosexual marriages are better for children than having gay parents.

I would rather have two parents of one sex than a single parent from the divorce of a heterosexual marriage. I also have a friend back in California that has gay dads. I hope you can trust me in saying that he is very heterosexual.

I’m not sure if being gay is from social conditions or if they are just born with this certain disposition for the same sex, but I do know that my friend is not going to shack up with a man.

Plus, gay parents have to adopt to have kids. This brings children from poverty stricken homes to better, more stable living conditions. One of my cousins that lived in Los Angeles had parents that were heroin addicts. For two days he was locked up in his room without food. Luckily the Child Protection Services came and brought him to an orphanage where he was adopted by my grandmother. My friend with the gay parents was an El Salvadorian adopted from south central Los Angeles. What I am trying to say is a lot of heterosexual couples are shooting out babies with no sense of responsibility. Gay couples do not have their own children, and instead take the orphaned ones into good homes.

Legalizing gay marriage will also help stop the spread of STD’s like the HIV virus. One child every minute dies from AIDS. It’s only logical that if a gay person was to get married, they would have fewer (if any) partners.

I don’t understand why people get so worked up over gay marriage. Let them get married, then they can understand why America has a 50% divorce rate.

Good Head on Her Shoulders

2003-11-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

This is for everyone who has ever had someone try to keep them from making their own decisions. You’re not alone.

One day, I decided I was tired of waiting for my mother’s approval. I called her after school and said that I was going out to get my hair cut. After moments of silence she finally answered, “Well I disagree, but it’s up to you.”

I couldn’t believe my ears -- I knew that this would be the closest thing to approval that I was ever going to get out of her. Barely able to contain my excitement, I could only say, “alright, thanks.” She promptly hung up on me.

When I told the guy at the reception desk that I wanted to make a donation to Locks of Love, he was disbelieving. “You’re cutting it all off?”

He began assigning me to a hairdresser, but then changed his mind. “No, I wanna do it,” he said. He led me to a chair, measured off 10 inches, and asked several times if I was absolutely sure.

Snip, snip, snip, and it was all gone. I now had a shoulder-length bob. For a few seconds I was inwardly panicking, envisioning horrifying “bad hair days,” full of frizz and unruliness and general blah. But then JoJo set it right, spraying and clipping and snipping. He lectured me on split ends for a while, marveled at my hair’s natural curliness, and assured me of how cute it would look straightened. About 20 minutes later I was driving home, looking in the rearview mirror every few minutes to make sure that it had really happened. I couldn’t stop smiling.

I had timed the haircut in such a way that I wouldn’t have to confront my mother for at least 24 hours. I was expecting harsh words and wanted to give myself some time to get used to the new hair first. When she finally saw it though, she didn’t say anything. Not a word. Didn’t even acknowledge that anything was different. This went on for days. I was afraid to ask her directly what she thought of it, and she wasn’t about to give in and bring it up herself. A few days later, my sister told me she had asked Mom what she thought of my hair. My mother reportedly replied, “If Buddy [our family dog] had to get his hair shaved, I would still love him, but I wouldn’t like it. That’s how I feel about Gwen’s hair.” Needless to say, I was slightly upset.

To this day, my mother refuses to directly tell me what she thinks, and I refuse to make her. At this point, I don’t need her approval anymore. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions concerning my appearance, and if all she has to say on the matter is “I disagree,” that is perfectly fine with me.

Besides all that though, I have had enough positive feedback from everyone I know, and plenty that I don’t to reassure me that I made the right choice. Everyone has said that they love it, and not just the obligatory, “oh, you got your hair cut... looks great.” Quite a few people have told me several times how lovely it is (to those people: thank you... your constant reassurance has been priceless). I was working one day and his little girl, about seven years old, whom I had never seen before in my life, came up to the counter, looked me straight in the eye and said, “I just love your hair!” No joke. It made my day.

With all of this in mind, how can I let the absence of my mother’s opinion bother me? Everyone around me likes it, I adore it and nothing else really matters.

One Man, One Woman

2003-11-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

Allowing same-sex marriages federally would be destructive and dismissive to the core of our society: marriage and the family. By destroying this, you will directly affect the rest of society today and in generations to come in a negative way. With the following points, I will explain why I believe marriage should be between a man and woman.

Marriage is a complex institution and must do several things in order to function fully. It must foster the bonds between men and women for three main reasons:

1. Encourage the birth and rearing of children
2. Provide and appropriate setting for children to grow and
3. Insure the cooperation of men and women for the common good.

Without these core traits, the union ceases to be a marriage. Instead, you are left with an agreement to stay with each other for sexual convenience or security, which is basically what the secular world considers marriage today.

Some could argue that by denying same-sex couples the right of marriage, you are discriminating them of benefits that other heterosexual couples could attain. But in this argument they fail to mention that same-sex couples can achieve these same rights by appointing a Power of Attorney, Living Together contracts, Last Will and Testaments and Designation of Preference. These options can distribute property, appoint a guardian, provide for pets, provide for funeral and more. On the issue of discrimination, you must be a part of a recognized minority in order to fully claim benefits and rights. And since no where in the Civil Rights Act does it claim “sexual orientation” as part of a minority, being gay would then have to be proved as a born and unchangeable trait. This has yet to be proven by any means. Until reasonable evidence is presented, this is not relevant.

Finally, I would like to discuss the health care system. This could be the straw that breaks the back of the insurance industry as new dependents become eligible and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. A study by The Kinsey Institute showed that 28% of homosexual men had sexual encounters with 1,000 or more males, and half said their partners were mostly strangers. By allowing marriage to these couples, it will not decrease their sexual partners. In the book, The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop (See all Human Sexuality Books), the writer found that of the 156 couples they studied, 75% of the partners learned within five years that for their relationships to survive, cheating had to be tolerated. Bad dating habits lead to bad marriage habits and will further deteriorate the state of marriage today.

In conclusion, now is the time to reinforce our society, not reconstruct. Allowing same-sex couples to marry will not make their unions any more like marriage, it will simply destroy the meaning.

Ripped Jeans

2003-10-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

Abercrombie. Hearing that word could have made you think either one of two things: A) Sale? Ripped jeans? Where?! B) Really expensive and overpriced, unnecessary clothing (social suicide).

For some unknown reason, ripped jeans have worked their way into our society and have taken a hefty amount of money along with them.

These $60 marvels contain two-thirds material and one-third teenage skin. These jeans are pre-wrinkled, pre-stained and pre-ripped. I suppose these “extras” could be slightly beneficial. For example, you would not have to hang up your jeans after you wash them or have to wash them for that matter (just add your own stains), and since they are ripped you can go ahead and say they are vintage. When you wash them, there is a chance they might unravel at some point in the cleaning process. At that point the material to skin ratio would even out and the wearer would add safety pins.

Now I know I am guilty of buying my share of ripped jeans (one pair), and I regret to inform that they are not worth $60. In this case, “fitting the trend” is not exactly the right road to take. The other day I saw a girl in the hallway with what looked like jeans; but I wasn’t sure. All I could make out was a strip of cloth hanging off her leg.

If you insist on wearing ripped jeans, bring a sweater that could be tied around the waist in the event of a hole occurring (a hole that was not meant to be there). Another style of pants that has been reoccurring in the stores lately is the pants with “Abercrombie” written along the butt. I don’t know if this is the way girls want people to notice their posterior, but I assure you they are not looking at your butt for your butt; they are looking at it when they wonder why you feel the need to post “Abercrombie” along it.

Not to mention the fact that these pants cost $40. I think Wal-Mart has the exact same style of pants but without the wording, and Hobby Lobby has felt letters that could be ironed on. Then, the wearer could just iron on words to the back of the pants for $10 and call it a day. I have purchased some of these pants, and I admit that they are definitely a waste of your money. I could have gone to the movie theater 10 times over, or even fed a family of five in an underdeveloped country for a month, for the price of just one pair of ripped jeans.

So the next time you are at the store, I suggest re-thinking your clothing selection and try to save a little money. There is no need to worry though, when we look back on these days later in life, the only choice we will have is to laugh.

Knitting Craze

2003-07-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

I started out only doing it on weekends. It could have been the trance-like state that came over me or the visions of rainbow colored yarn that danced in my head, but I was hooked and come Monday morning in class signs of my “use” were beginning to show. I could hardly hold a pencil in my hand since it left my grip cramped and twisted into a perpetual C-shape I just couldn’t shake.

So hands trembling, I tried to scribble my name in the right hand corner while my pencil clattered repeatedly to the floor embarrassingly, revealing to the class I was beyond “recreational” and far into “abuse.” I tried to hide under scarf after scarf, but I was drowning. I was drowning in 24 yd. rolls of yarn. “Looks like Rita's been into the needles again-knitting needles that is.”

Yes, I admit it; I’ve been a knitter since ‘01. One summer I got a little bored and my grandmother got me started with a few novice projects (dish towels) and quickly my appetite grew till I had two hand-knitted pink slippers in my collection.

I thought it was strictly a summer fling, something I would throw off and abandon like my incomplete collection of state quarters or like every morning when I tell myself I’m going to finish reading at least one full article in the paper. But once I noticed my classmates were in to it… I knew I wanted more. And now ironically, I’m knitting a scarf for my grandmother, asking myself where did my youth go? Unfortunately I’ve spread this sickness to fellow classmates. Go under, then over and pull the yarn tight, I instruct them. Then before I can suppress the monster I’ve created, wool-weighted yarn is flowing intravenously through their veins and their asking people on the streets if they can bum a stitch. While some say that knitting will pass me by and be a fixation of winter boredom, I look forward and onward to the projects of summer-the hand-knitted flip-flops, the softly woven visor or perhaps even the sleek crocheted bathing suit.

It’s clear to me that I’ve hit rock bottom. I’m now sneaking rows in the back of class during long lectures when my teacher’s not looking. I thought my grades might have improved when a kid taught me how to use pencils as needles and scribbling notes in between stitches in order to “multitask,” but it got to be a little precarious when I started working on Afghans.

Once a couple feet of periwinkle blue yarn unraveled itself and trailed behind me like toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Embarrassing? I could have strangled myself with it.

Major Decisions: Tips On Choosing a College Major

2003-07-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Most students aren't required to choose a major until their junior year of college. But no matter how far along you are in college--or even high school--chances are you've been stressing at least a bit about what to study. You've likely been asking yourself important questions, like "What type of classes will I have to take?" "What kind of job can I get after graduation?" and "Is this a subject I actually like?" Avoid major stress with these tips.

Get some core help
Core classes give each student a common base of knowledge and skills that are important and crucial for students. Core classes will help you discover your interests. They present students with an overview of areas--ones they might consider for a major. On the other hand, you'll also have some elective credits to play around with at college, perfect for testing other areas that may not be part of your required core. Perhaps you think photography may be your calling. You won't know until you take a class. One great thing about college is that there are so many options available to you.

Other options
Perhaps your problem is that you're torn between two very distinct areas of study. Luckily, if you plan your courses the right way (with a little help from your adviser), you may be able to graduate with a double major or with a major and a minor field of study. Some colleges even offer students the opportunity to create their own major through independent study. Discuss your options with your academic adviser.

How important is your major?
The answer really depends on your intentions once you graduate college. For example, if you plan to attend graduate school for biology, there may be requirements and prerequisites that would necessitate majoring in biology or a closely related field. On the other hand, law schools and even medical schools admit students with a variety of majors.
The important thing to remember when choosing a major is to pick something in which you have clear aptitude and interest, and one where you can develop skills that can be adapted to the workplace. For instance, majoring in English might not set you on a specific career path, but it will help you master your writing and research skills, which can later be applied in any number of fields. Then again, if you want to become something specific like an accountant or a pharmacist, then naturally you should major in accounting or pharmacy.

Be resourceful
Take advantage of career centers and libraries at your school to do some major research. The College Board Book of Majors, for instance, offers brief descriptions of each major and lists every college that offers them. If it's future employment that has you concerned, conisider picking up College Majors Handbook with Real Career Paths and Payoffs. In it, you'll get real statistics on job trends, earnings, and the employment experiences of real college graduates.

You should also speak with students who are currently pursuing the major you're considering. Find out which courses they've taken and if they've had the opportunity to get hands-on experience through internships.

Better yet, visit some professors during office hours to ask about their subjects. Professors often work outside academia in their fields, so they can give you valuable insider tips.

Most importantly, do not jump into a major just for the sake of choosing one. Be inquisitive, take a variety of courses, and follow your instincts.

Next to your choice of a college, your choice of a major will be one of the more important decisions to make at this point in your life. It’s a challenge to identify a major that will suit your abilities, interests, and goals as you complete your education and develop career plans.
If you’re finding it a challenge to narrow down your interests to a single major, or if you just aren’t sure which major is for you, begin by thinking about yourself—who you are, what you’re good at, what you like to do, and where you want to be in 10 years.

Look at yourself

Before you start to worry too much about what’s out there in the world of business or psychology or biology, start in your own back yard. Take some time to jot down a few important things about yourself. Do you like to work with numbers or with words? With others or alone? With abstract ideas or solid objects? You can use the answers to these questions to begin to define possible major areas:
• What interests you the most?
• What subjects do you like to study?
• What subjects do you do best in? Why?
• What subjects do you do worst in? Why?
• What has been your greatest accomplishment so far in school?
• Do you like to read?
• Do you read for pleasure?
• Do you retain what you read?
• Are you reasonably comfortable working with numbers?
• Do you like math?
• Can you express your thoughts clearly in writing?

Identify your abilities

In general, it’s best to major in an area that you enjoy studying and have the ability to do well. How would you answer the following questions?
• What subjects are you good at?
• What subjects do you struggle with?
• What subjects come easily to you?
If you major in a subject that you are interested in learning, you’ll feel more motivated to study. And the more you study, the better your grades are likely to be—especially if you have some ability in the subject.
Many employers look carefully at grades when they recruit on college campuses, so the higher your grades, the more competitive you may be. If you plan to pursue a graduate degree, you’ll want your undergraduate grades to represent the best work you’re capable of doing.

Imagine your future

Use your answers to these questions to define your personal and professional goals:
• What do you want to be doing 10 years after college?
• Where do you want to live?
• What income do you want to have?
• What will be most important in your life?
• What do you secretly want to do?
• What are the most important qualities in a job: flexible hours, control over decision-making, fun co-workers, lots of travel, etc.
Once you have a sense of what you value, think again about possible majors that correspond to your interests and abilities. Which ones are a good fit with these values? Which ones look promising?

A graduation plan
A graduation plan provides a framework for your education. Within this framework, you can create a personalized path to graduation. You and your academic advisor will want to review your graduation plan each year.
Having a plan helps you answer questions like: Should I take summer session classes? If I change my major, can I still graduate in four years? How many electives can I take? Can I do a minor? You and your advisor will look at all of these things as you work on your graduation plan during your first year.

Manac day

2003-07-19T01:52:00.001-07:00

Rain-swollen waterways in northern New Jersey slowly receded Sunday after cresting overnight, causing fewer evacuations than expected but still flooding roadways around in the region.

Despite clear skies in the forecast, officials said flooding will remain a concern for at least the next few days, and it’s not clear when all residents will be able to return to their homes. They also said it will take days to estimate the cost of repairing damage caused by the storms and the flooding. The Passaic River crested at 9 p.m. Saturday — earlier than expected — and has been receding since.

Officials had expected that the flooding would force hundreds of people to be evacuated from Paterson, Little Falls and other nearby areas by early Sunday. But that was not the case as many residents apparently took heed of warnings and left before the flooding occurred, finding temporary shelter with friends and family.

An analysis of online friendships

2003-07-19T01:52:00.000-07:00

Internet has changed the way of life of many people .

Most of us do have chat friends ... but for me and my wing mates , the relationship with them were at a very nascent stage until we got net access in our rooms in September 2002. After that we made full use of the free time available to spend more time with the "virtual" friends. This article draws from our experiences.

Many issues do crop up. Firstly one must check whether the person on the other side is actually the person he/she claims to be. Failure to do this can lead to rather embarassing consequences. I mean that when you tell a girl to meet you to watch a film wearing a pink coloured dress, and you go and find out that it was a prank played on you by your friends ... it can really hurt your ego. :p

Now comes the case when we are reasonably sure of the authenticity of the other party (why does this line remind me of MANAC ? ) . Now there seems to be two categories of people.

1. They distinguish between real and online friends. They treat online friends as aquantainces to pass their time with and consciously keep their real friends at a higher pedestal.

2. These people do not make such a distinction. They seem to believe that the essence of friendship is effective communication, heart to heart. Meeting face to face is not a prerequisite for that.

I feel compatibility issues crop up between people belonging to different categories. The people of category 1 take a longer time to trust the others. You join college and meet your hostel mates for the first time and you are ready to tell them your cell number but you are hesitant to tell someone with whom you have talked for hours. This can potentially create a bit of resentment within the other person. These two people do find it a little difficult to relate.

Lack of physical interaction can create other problems. Suppose you said something to a "real" friend. If that person does not respond, you can physically confront him/her. But if you find that your online buddy is not responding to mails or sms', you become hesitant to press further. You are never really sure whether the person belongs to category 1 or 2. You can seldom know with any degree of certainty what that person thinks of you, beyond what you are told by the person himself. So you hesitate in exercising your rights as a friend. People err on the side of caution.

So ... these are few of the problems. What are the solutions ? No idea.

Note 1 : Real and virtual friends are used to refer to non-online and online friends and they do not, in any way, comment on the intensity and quality of the relationship.
Note 2 : Two classes of Individual Dynamics and i am analysing friendships. Wow !! :p

When Christmas arrives

2003-07-18T01:49:00.000-07:00

It’s not often when you find out your little brother, the brother you think is still busy playing in the garage building Frankenstein’s bicycle out of old parts, is engaged. As those of you in the highly lucrative Christmas letter industry know, trying to remember what exactly happened this past year that kept you from starting to write until January 1 is the most perplexing part of the job. Other than that, the rhythm of our lives goes on.

11 Tips on choosing a major

2003-07-13T01:51:00.000-07:00

Choosing a major can be a daunting task. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider your options:

Most career fields don't require a specific major, and people with specific majors don't have to use them in the ways most commonly expected.
Instead of thinking "What can I do with my major?" think about "What do I want to do?"
Do not make a mad rush to choose your major! The best decision is a well informed one.
Be broad, determine an educational and career "path." Remember that choosing a college major that is right for you is important, but keep it in perspective. A major will not necessarily be what you will be doing the rest of your life!
As you attempt to determine what you want to do, the choice of an academic major will take on new meaning. You'll no longer be so concerned with what the prescribed route of certain majors "allows" you to do. Instead, you'll use your career goals as a guide for academic decisions about your major, your minor, elective courses, internships, and co-curricular activities.
In most cases a college major alone is not enough to land you a job. There is tremendous competition for good jobs, and you need experience and competencies related to your chosen field. Internships, co-curricular activities, and part-time jobs provide opportunities to gain hands-on experience and develop these competencies.
Recognize that an occupation alone will not lead to a fulfilling life! In your educational pursuits, it is important to consider life's other major aspects: family, culture, religion, and leisure activities.
Be involved in the process!
When 3,000 liberal arts graduates were surveyed regarding the relationship between their major and current employment, 70 percent indicated that there was little connection between their undergraduate major and current career
Know what marketable skills are attractive to employers and find a way to develop these skills while in college. Many prospective employers are looking for students with knowledge and experience in oral and written communication, social science research methods, visual design, media production and computer skills.
Regardless of which major you pursue in college or which degree you earn, be assured that you will graduate having had the opportunity to develop the following skills:

written and oral communication
innovation and design
problem solving and critical thinking skills
teamwork and cooperation
investigative and research skills
ongoing skill development

5 Surprising Myths About Choosing a Major

2003-07-12T01:50:00.000-07:00

Myth #1: Most people know their college major as high school seniors.

Some people go to college knowing exactly what they want, others don't have a clue.
Most typically, college students only have a vague idea about majors when they start. A major is your area of specialization. Your college curriculum will be comprised of core or general education classes, electives (anything goes courses), and your major—the department where you'll concentrate most of your credit hours.

Myth #2: Your college major will dictate your career.

Your major CAN determine your career choice. Or you may end up doing something completely different. (According to the U.S. Department of Labor, people change career fields two or three times in their lives.) For example, let's say you major in English. You might decide to teach high school, attend law school, write the great American novel, or take a job in a large corporation—or all of the above. As a biology major you could work in a lab, conduct research, apply to graduate, medical, veterinary or dental schools, or start your own computer company. Who knows? Life is flexible.

Myth #3: I should choose my major first semester, freshman year.

In most cases, don't sweat it. Most schools don't ask you to look at a major until sometime during your sophomore year. (Certain majors, however, like engineering and accounting, have so many requirements that unless you declare early, you may not graduate in time.)
If you are undecided, take a wide variety of classes. Visit your college career/counseling center. Talk to your advisor. See what you like. College is the perfect time to test the waters and try lots of new things.

Myth #4: When I declare my major, I'm locked in.

Nope. Colleges and universities understand that it is a student's prerogative to change his or her mind. It's usually quite easy to change your major. But if you do it too often, it may take you longer to graduate.

Myth #5: I can only choose one major.

Most schools allow you to double major, triple major, or design your own program. Other universities even offer programs where you can get a bachelor's degree and master's degree in five years.

Smoke Alarm

2003-07-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago my chemistry teacher Mr. Hare said that we had to go to the gym during fourth period for “some pep rally thing.” When we got down there, there were only three or four other classes and a man standing next to a projector. Great. Another “Don’t Do Drugs” speech. I expected this presentation to be boring like the rest of them, but after 30 seconds, I knew I was wrong.

Victor DeNoble, an ex-research scientist for a tobacco company, shared his story about what really goes on inside a major cigarette industry. Back in the early 80’s, when the tobacco industry was discovering how many people cigarettes killed every year, DeNoble was hired to develop a “safer” cigarette – one that was just as addictive but would not cause heart disease.

For years, DeNoble experimented with rats and monkeys and tested the effects that different methamphetamines and nicotine had on their brains. He would hook the rats up to a tube that injected heroin or cocaine into their bodies when they stepped on a button. The first day, the rats would wake up, clean themselves, eat, run around and then finally get curious and step on the button. After three weeks, the rats were addicted. They would wake up and press the button five or more times and then pass out. They lost weight from not eating, got diseases from not cleaning themselves and bled from their eyes. When DeNoble tried the same experiment with nicotine, the rats got up to the equivalent of 90 cigarettes a day.

Tobacco companies had been lying to the government for years, saying people smoked cigarettes because they “tasted good” and not because they were addictive. DeNoble ran these tests, proving them wrong. When he presented his claims to the tobacco company, they refused to accept it and told him to return to making the safe cigarette or they would fire him.

DeNoble brought with him what part of his proof was – brains. Two of them, preserved by chemicals, were in a cooler. One belonged to a cracked-out monkey and the other to a man who had died of a smoking-related cancer. He told us that the experiments showed how much damage was done to different parts of the brain due to nicotine and drug addictions. Back in the lab, he had finally found a substitute for nicotine - the filtered cigarette. However, even though he had done his job, the company still fired him and took away his lab research because they were afraid his proof would show the government that nicotine really was addictive.

DeNoble fought back. He stole back his proof and planned to take it all the way to the Supreme Court. After a decade of obstacles, in 1994, he became the first activist to testify before Congress, which led to the tobacco company owing roughly $300 billion in health care costs.

This man played a huge role in the anti-smoking campaign. Many states and counties have become smoke-free, and the common workplace is now a smoke-free environment. His main goal was to expose the truth.

Maybe you had to be there, but I thought this was pretty cool. Of course, the presentation was more exciting because of his dramatic speaking skills and the brains and the pictures of the cracked-out monkeys. He really convinced me that he is the good guy, and the tobacco industry is the bad guy. This time, instead of just rolling my eyes when it was done, I was wondering how many people just changed their minds about their views on smoking

Love from New York City

2003-07-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

The time has come to rearrange my pantheon, take a few timbers from Aphrodite and pass them to Athena. New York City is amazing, which only reminds me that "love" is a chemical interaction in the mind of one person, who can probably feel it for a city as well as a person. We get so excited about "love", so excited when we think it is requited. However, our marvel should be slightly more chemical and certainly less sentimental. The mere fact of another person having the same chemical overload at the same time is not a call for poetry manuscripts.

Perfect Anti-Climax

2003-06-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

"I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax." - (Scott Roeben)

We are only as good as whomever we're fucking. An attractive attribute is prioritizing love/sex/romance very low in one's creative and intellectual pursuits, whether that means retreating for several years in the Gobi desert, or killing his self on the installment plan. I was telling a friend the other day my intentions to move to somewhere Third World as soon as I get (officially) out of school. "But you'll never get laid!" she told me. Maybe, maybe not. I'd rather go on about my ways a Free Byrd (even if a celibate one) than live a disatisfying conventional life with as many second-rate partners as I can pencil in.

Late Riser

2003-06-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. -Author Unknown

There is a super-replicating false belief in our society that sleeping in is lazy. Sleeping in is not lazy- many individuals would actually be more productive if they slept in versus waking up early. But as a whole, promoting the belief that sleeping in is lazy serves the needs of a stable society, in which individuals are all on similar schedules.

What are some of the ways that society makes us feel guilty for sleeping in?

“Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes a Man Healthy Wealthy and Wise”
Early risers are considered more productive than those who sleep in
We are only supposed to need 8 hours of sleep, and people often brag about getting by on less
If we sleep in, we may feel out of synch with the 9-5 society

Great Time

2003-06-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

My old roommate S and I had a great time several years back throwing a pajama party where everybody made ornaments out of crafts materials we provided, ate holiday treats and had a generally festive time of it. We don't think we'll have time to set up a party in time this year (plus there's always the friends-who-are-allergic-to-cats issue), but I do have some ideas in mind for a few arts and crafts of our own. I won't go into them here, because then M might read about them and I want them to be a surprise, but they could be fun. The question is will the combination of these two solutions be enough to satisfy my bring-back-my-childhood-with-glass-and-wood jones?

Welcome to I

2003-06-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

It’s awfully quiet in here.
If you’re there, dear reader, welcome to the beginning.

That’s right, Bhatta is blogging! As I'm already learning, you have to take yourself pretty seriously to do this. For as long as I can remember, whenever someone has asked what my pet peeve is (honestly, I'm kind of averse to the idea of pet peeves, but that's another story for another time), I’ve replied, “People who take themselves too seriously.” So it would appear that I am / we are treading on perilous ground here.

Just so as to wipe away any scrap of mystery, let me explain what I’m doing. This is my space to start writing for myself again, rather than for only for professors, advisers, students, grant committees, and the like.